I know how much y'all like chain letters so...

Okay, here's what you're supposed to do. Copy (not forward) this
entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send. Change all
of the answers so that they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole bunch
of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory
is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about your
friends. Remember to send yours back to the person who sent it to you.

WHAT TIME IS IT? 5:14 pm
LIVING ARRANGEMENT: living in too small of a house with my wife and 4
kids
 

Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2000 13:02:39 -0700
To: travis
From: Lisa
Subject: Re: getting to know each other...

It took you a half hour to fill in all that sappy crap?  Basically a suck up letter to your wife?

Well, okay, I'll bite.

-Lisa
 

WHAT TIME IS IT? Time for Travis to get some work done.  Lazy fuck.
LIVING ARRANGEMENT: Living?  I work, I work all the fucking time, so my living arrangement consists of a place to store my computer, and a bed.  Oh yeah, and storage for all that crap I bought in Hong Kong.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS?  Silly movie prop - who actually uses those things except for flakey, creepy women as portrayed in misogynistic hollywood crap movies that continue to portray women as emotionally needy, flakey incompetents, always needing a man to come to their rescue.
YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?  As if I have time to watch tv.  As if I could wrest control of the TV away from the lump that sits on my couch all day and all night.
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?  On the Road, keroac
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: I don't play games with boards.  Only when I'm bored.  Tabu.  The dust is at least an inch thick on the box.
FAVORITE MAGAZINE:  Easy Rider, with the monthly "send the ugliest picture of your favorite snatch on some semblance of a motorcycle and fantasize about what you'll do to her when you get out of jail" contest.
FAVORITE SMELLS: The smell of incense; specifically at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in Hong Kong, where you can be in the white marble toilet with the gold fixtures, pinching out the smelliest loaf ever, and the nice little bathroom attendant graciously lights up some incense and waves it around, so that you don't lessen the experience for the other grunting guests.
FAVORITE SOUNDS:  That gurgling noise Travis makes when you choke him for making you fill out stupid quesitonnaires like this.
TATTOOS, OR PIERCING? Trendy idiots.  Like you need more holes.
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:  Sticking your fingers in warm chocolate pudding.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Realizing the warm chocolate pudding is getting cold in your pants, and it's actually shit.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING: Get that fucking boner out of my face.
ROLLER COASTER - SCARY OR EXCITING? Exciting; particularly when riden under the influence of hallucinogenics.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?  However many times it manages to ring before I am able to stumble out of bed, and make the fucking thing stop ringing.
FUTURE/CURRENT DAUGHTER'S NAME: Dyspepsia
FUTURE/CURRENT SON'S NAME: Misanthrope
FAVORITE FOODS:  Pretty much everything, if it's well prepared.  The ones I generally won't say no to are: sushi, ras malai, crepes, sourdough pancakes, mexican chocolate ice cream.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Chocolate.
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE: No, that's why I do it so fast, to get it over with as quickly as possible.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No.  A stuffed shirt sometimes, an animal sometimes, but not technically a stuffed animal.
HOW MANY PILLOWS? As many as it takes to drown out the noise of the fucking neigbors.
FLAT, OR FLUFFY? Fluffy.
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Cool.  Very cool when you're just beginning a 12 hour flight from Hong Kong during monsoon season back to the US, and the lightning is flashing frequently, and the plane is bobbing up and down and shimmying, and the other passengers are turning shades of green. Very cool.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?  You mean the first one I had sex in, or the first one I owned?  An italian convertible, red, with the license plate "dickhead".  A $250 junkyard special japanese box that would do 80 on the downhill with a tailwind.  Nitrous got it up to 135.
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE - WHO WOULD IT BE? I'd think the dead guys would be pretty fucking rank by now, so no thanks.  And for what point?  I'd like to meet the guy who still owes me $1500 bucks, but that ain't gonna happen.  Fuckin bastard.
ALCOHOLIC DRINK?  Tequila Mockingbird.  Okay, it tastes horrible, but it comes in a nice glass and has a great name.
BEEN DRUNK? Duh.
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Gemini
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET?  Dr. Suess
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?  Raw.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?   This one, but with more pay.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?  Why would I want to dye my hair?  It's gloriously beautiful as it is.
EVER BEEN IN LOVE?  Define love.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?  What glass?  I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE?  Oozing Snatch Snapple, it is the new 'Rotting Fish' flavor.  Sure to be a hit.
FAVORITE MOVIES: BladeRunner, Bound, Silent Running.
ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS?  Ambidextrous.  I'll use either my hands or my feet.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?  Yes, but I also use the left keys as well.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?  Dust, last years clothes, some boogers.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Richard hunting young bucks.
FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR: vacation.
EVER BEEN TOILET PAPERING? My ass for years - what does everyone else use?
PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND:  some jerk
PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND:  some lazy ass
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: He sucks up well.
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 3:42am