Winter 1998

Don: "Go with What You've Got!"
	Don Welcome isn’t afraid to let the world know that he has aphasia. In fact, he’s so unafraid, that he’s had a baseball cap with the letters "A-p-h-a-s-i-a" embroidered in big, bold letters. For those who look puzzled when they meet Don in his hat (Is it a

For Don, this kind of strategy works perfectly. It allows him to go out and about as he pleases and the short explanation is enough to put the people he meets at ease. It’s strategies like these that have kept Don active since his stroke in 1994. "What’s different about Don is that he’s not stigmatized by aphasia," said Aphasia Center President Dr. Roberta Elman. "He doesn’t feel like it’s something to be ashamed of or to hide."

Don’s advice for people who have just had a stroke and are coping with aphasia? "Go with what you’ve got."

And this is what he does. Though he knows exactly what he wants to say, Don sometimes has trouble saying specific words. In June, when he spoke in front of an auditorium full of people gathered for the Aphasia Center’s first open-house, he didn’t let this get in the way. When a word escaped him, he would turn to a flip-chart and quickly sketch a picture or write the first few letters to help make his meaning clear. It’s at the Aphasia Center that Don and other group participants learn strategies like these to compensate for impaired speech. "It’s not just speech therapy that the groups focus on," said Don’s wife Vicki, "they teach people how to express themselves, they stress communicating any way you can and that’s really important."

Don has been attending Aphasia Center groups twice a week since the Center opened in September, 1996. "He’s such a good role model for the others," said Dr. Elman. "It’s his upbeat attitude and sense of humor that serve as inspiration for new members," she added. "He really embodies the spirit of the Aphasia Center -- you can live successfully and achieve even when you have aphasia. He manages to figure out ways to live with aphasia as if he didn’t have it and that’s part of the message that we try and get other people to think about. He’s reintegrated into the community, he’s out in the mainstream and for a lot of folks that’s a long road," Dr. Elman said.

Apart from his involvement with weekly group meetings, Don also serves as one of the Center’s six Board of Directors. In keeping with his character, Don is anything but a passive member. Dr. Elman remembered an unsettled issue that came up at a recent Board meeting. Don, the only Board member with aphasia, was not in agreement with the rest of the group. "He really held his ground and didn’t back down," Dr. Elman said. "Through words and writing he was able to communicate how he felt. People saw that and responded," she said. "I was really proud of him. That kind of situation could be intimidating for anyone."

Don was born and raised in Bend, Oregon. In 1961, he earned his B.S. degree in Business and Accounting from Lewis and Clark College in Portland. After finishing his degree, Don went to work for the Del Monte Corporation. He spent over two decades with the company, rising to the ranks of administrative manager before his retirement in 1989.

The hardest thing since the stroke, says Don, is dealing with the fact that he can’t say everything that he wants. But, he adds, "that’s just the way it is," so he never thinks of the things he can’t do, only the things he can. Both Don and his wife Vicki have been retired since 1989, but their definition of "retired" doesn’t seem to involve much slowing down. Four kids and nine grandchildren are enough to keep anyone busy, but Don and his wife also enjoy being members of Faith Lutheran Church, the Contra Costa stroke support group and the Aphasia Center of California. For fun, as he describes with a quick sketch, he builds futons with his brother in Napa.

Vicki says the aphasia groups have helped her too. "As a spouse you become a part of the group. Just getting to know the other spouses and family members makes you feel like you’re not alone," Vicki said. "I remember when we first came home from the hospital and thought, ‘Now what?’ But things do get better, even though you feel like they won’t, they really do."

When Vicki talks about her husband, you can hear the admiration for her husband in her voice. She says he’s had to make changes, but notes that both of them continue to live full lives, despite the aphasia. Neither one of them has let the disorder get in the way of taking part in the activities they enjoy. "I really admire Don’s courage and determination to go out in the world and do his best," says Vicki. "He acts like he’s just not afraid."