Bob Stewart - Gryphon Pedigree

A little over seven months ago my elder son Bob and his wife Laura decided it was time to have their second child. They were going for a year and a half difference, as had worked out so well for Bob and his brother Ben, and for matching up with the pregnancy of Laura's sister, with whom she is very close. Everyone was quite pleased when not long after Laura tested pregnant.

Several weeks ago, after a routine ultrasound, the doctor said there was a problem. Bob and Laura consulted appropriate specialists and learned that the baby appeared to have only one kidney, which was improperly formed. As a result, there was too little amniotic fluid, which would eventually prevent proper lung development. The baby was given a low chance of live birth, and little chance of health in the unlikely event that it did survive.

We believe that an unborn child is a human baby and is not subject to destruction for our ease or convenience. With no pressure or prodding from anyone, Bob and Laura decided that all they could do was be patient, hope, and pray that the doctors were wrong or we would get a miracle. They considered it a matter of their plans and convenience versus trusting God and letting nature take its course. God hears us and has all power, but He does not promise we will have no troubles or pain, only that we will have no more than we can bear.

Last week after another ultrasound, the doctor said the baby was in only the 10th weight percentile for its time of development, and there was no sign of improvement in the kidneys. He said there was a 99% chance the baby would not survive. Still they kept their course, expecting the worst, holding the small possibility of the best, and simply living with it day by day.

A few days ago, Laura started having contractions. Rest and inactivity calmed them, but upon rising they came back strongly until they were less than 15 minutes apart. Eventually she went to the hospital, but they diagnosed false labor. Yesterday the contractions continued, even though she was given a morphine tablet and eventually codeine to relax her and mitigate her pain.

Calling last night about 10 PM, Bob told us the following. Yesterday evening Laura felt as if she were constipated, but soon realized that in fact the baby was coming. They called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital. With his voice breaking, Bob told us, "Her name was Leah Rose..."

I weep for the granddaughter that never knew this life but especially for the pain and loss for her mother and father. We will find out what modern medicine can tell us of what went wrong. There will most likely be more grandchildren, from Bob and Laura and from Ben and his soon-to-be wife. There will always be a painful spot where Leah would have been, but there will be no regrets and no second guesses. We will be at peace.

Thanks. We're dealing with it well. We feel a strong sadness and loss, but no bitterness or sense of life-shaking tragedy.

I didn't know when I sent the first message, but the closure on this is good. Leah was born alive (7 months into the pregnancy) and breathed, but it was clear to the attending physician even without prior knowledge of the ultrasound that her kidneys were not right. Bob and Laura had already decided not to use drastic and futile measures to try to keep her alive. The attendants cleaned her up and brought her to them in a private room where they had 15 minutes with their child before she stopped breathing. She was bruised from the lack of amniotic fluid that's characteristic of this situation, but she looked much like their other daughter, with a lot of black hair. Although this may sound difficult in fact it brought a sense of completeness, finality, and peace.