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The ScuttlebugsBy Scott Lollar
You seem to recall someone mentioning them to you earlier. A group of unkempt musicians who have made a name for themselves with the young ladies of the town. At the mere mention of the name of the band, a squeal of delight can be heard somewhere nearby. This night’s entertainment promises to be fun. After buying your tickets for entry, you notice the pub is full – mostly women. The lower class girls are nearer the front, sitting on benches, and a few young nobles near the rear, sitting at an elegantly decked out table. You order drinks and a little food. The waitress seems to be preoccupied along with every other local woman in the pub. You look around wondering what must have all these women interested in the night’s entertainers. After a short time, you hear a loud man’s voice come from some magical device over your head, saying, “Ladies and Gentlemen, and folks of all stations. Ned Sturdivan.” At which point many of the girls near the front scream with delight. A tall man, apparently of Brettonian breeding, walks on to the stage. He is dressed in finely cut gray wool coat and breeches. He keeps his arms folded over his chest, and walks with a slight stoop. He says to the now quiet crowd, “Good evening. Welcome to the Ned Sturdivan show. I am your host Ned Sturdivan.” He practices a bit of dry Brettonian humor for a few minutes, which elicits a few laughs but nothing raucous. Once he finishes his monologue about entertaining the masses, he announces, “ Tonight we have an interesting shoo for you. These next young lads put on quite an interesting performance. A really big shoo. So, with no further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen. The Scuttlebugs.”
One man is playing a mandolin, another hammers at a dulcimer, a third stands in front strumming a lute, and a fourth sits near the rear of the stage behind a contraption apparently made up of several sizes of drums and cymbals at which he is banging away with a pair of sticks. Each of the men has the same identical hair cut, dark hair with long bangs hanging into the eyes, and short behind the ears, as if a bowl were placed inverted on their heads. And, upon closer inspection these men are actually Elves; you see their ears poking out of each of those bowl haircuts. Although the words are a little hard to understand, the song they are singing, apparently is about a young halfling woman who likes to eat. “She loves food. Yeah yeah yeah. She loves food. Yeah yeah yeah.” As soon as the song ends, Ned Sturdivan appears back on stage. He walks in front of the band and begins to introduce the members. The singer with the lute, Jon of the Lend None; the dulcimer player is Rawl of the Barked Knee, the man playing mandolin is Jor of the Harried Sun, and the drummer is Rungol of the Starry Sky. And at each name a different group of girls screams as loud as they possibly can, threatening to deafen you at their earliest convenience.
Cast of CharactersNed SturdivanClub owner, entertainer-comic, Age 52
Skills: Comedian, Wit, Haggle, Acting, Public Speaking, Etiquette, Read/Write Description: At age 52, this dark haired, brown eyed human has a slight stoop in his slender 6 foot tall build. He always wears gray wool, no matter the weather outside. Story: This middle aged (some would say, old) entertainer has seen quite a lot of the world. He has tired of travelling to other places to entertain people. So, he saved up some money, bought an old pub which he renovated, and now people come to see him and his travelling acts. He is quite a shrewd businessman, and has earned quite a reputation in his business. He doesn’t quite like the music the Scuttlebugs play, but he recognizes that he is making a lot of money off them. Quote: “A really big shoo!” Jonelarata Lii-monn of the Lend None Tribe of the Loren ForestElf Minstrel, Age 54
Skills: Read/Write, Secret Language-Classical, Charm, Etiquette, Musicianship - Mandolin, Public Speaking, Sing Description: This tall slender youth, has short-cut dark brown hair that falls in his eyes. He stands about 5’11” and weighs about 125 lbs. He has green eyes that seem to be a bit too happy. Story: Jon belongs to a wealthy tribe of Elves from the Loren forest. He was not happy growing up, as everyone always teased him about how tight-fisted his family could be. He left home at an early age of 45, struck out on the road of life as an entertainer, but failed miserably. He found another elf by the name of Rawlantr who was having similar difficulties. They began to work together and discovered they could make more money together. The formed a group of minstrels called the Dungbeetles, which didn’t catch on. Later, they tried again, this time with a drummer, the Scuttlebugs were born. Quote: “I’m a luva. Not a fighta.” Rawlantr Andrynoth of the Barked Knee Tribe of the Loren ForestElf Minstrel, Age 58
Skills: Read/Write, Numismatics, Charm, Etiquette, Musicianship - Dulcimer, Public Speaking, Sing Description: This average looking elf, has short-cut dark brown hair that falls in his eyes. He stands about 5’10” and weighs about 115 lbs. He has sad, blue eyes. Story: Rawl belongs to a combative tribe of Elves from the Loren forest. Growing up, he did not feel the call to be a warrior. As his entire family was warriors, this gave him some shame. But everyone realized he did have talent in music. He left home at an early age of 53, and after finding Jonelarata founded the Dungbeetles, a group of travelling minstrels (the name was supposed to be a pun for their stations in life). Later, they tried again, this time with a drummer, Rungolatan, the Scuttlebugs were born. Rawl is also a devoted vegetarian. Quote: “Make love, not war.” “Give peas a chance. They’re good for you.” Rungolatan Hamarkanth of the Starry Sky Tribe of the Loren ForestElf Minstrel, Age 60
Skills: Read/Write, Speak Khazalid, Charm, Etiquette, Musicianship - Drum, Public Speaking Description: This plain looking elf, has short-cut dark brown hair that falls in his eyes. He stands about 5’11” and weighs about 120 lbs. He has brown eyes, and wears round-frame tinted eyeglasses. Story: Rungolatan is a drummer. His life revolves around the drums. If he is not playing the drums, he is practicing on something or someone. He can constantly be seen beating on any surface that will bear the strain. He does not speak much, because he understands drums not people. He does however have a side job as a player in a children’s puppet show after school. Rungol comes from a family of musicians and astrologers. He followed the beat of his own drum, though, when he left the Loren forest because he heard there was a group of minstrels that were attracting crowds of people, the Dungbeetles. He convinced Jon and Rawl that he could bring a new kind of sound to their band – drums. Quote: “Peace.” Jornetha Jhaer-Eson of the Harried Sun Tribe of the Loren ForestElf Minstrel, Age 53
Skills: Read/Write, History, Charm, Etiquette, Musicianship - Lute Description: This average looking elf, has short-cut dark brown hair that falls in his eyes. He stands about 5’10” and weighs about 125 lbs. He has light green eyes. Story: Joretha was born to a loving family of foresters. His parents knew he had an affinity for music, no matter how odd it may be. They encouraged him to the best of their ability. As soon as they realized his talent was beyond their abilities to aid, they sent him to a renowned minstrel in the Loren Forest for training. Jor accepted the apprenticeship willingly, but soon learned that his master, was not as talented as himself, so left the forest to train with the masters of other societies, hoping to find the best way to play the tunes leaping around in his brain. While in Parravon, he happened upon a group of 3 minstrels who were playing in a pub. He asked if he could stand in with them, and the fourth member of the Scuttlebugs was found. The scuttlebugs have benefited greatly from his understanding of music. Quote: “My zither gently weeps.” Possible Adventure HooksThe band has had its instruments stolen and hires the PCs to retrieve them. The band is a cover for a Slaaneshi cult, recruiting initiates from the crowds of female fans. Ned Sturdivan believes he is getting the short end of the deal with the band, and wants the PCs to steal the money back or at least strong-arm the band into a new deal. A fight breaks out in the pub, someone pulls out a dueling pistol, a shot rings out, and Jon lays dying on the stage – shot in the back. One of the members of the band comes down with a bad cold, and one of the PCs must stand in. Jon’s girlfriend, a Nipponese princess named Yoyo Oto, is muscling in on the action, and the other band members want her out of the way.
Return to the Best of the WFRP List. |
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Created by Claycle
All around town you see posters advertising the Ned Sturdivan Show.
Apparently this man has a pub where different musical and entertaining acts
appear. He apparently makes good money, for the printing on the posters is
very well done. The posters are advertising a musical act tonight, for one
night only – The Scuttlebugs.
As he steps off the stage, waving his arm toward the back of the stage, a
red velvet curtain is pulled aside, revealing four tall men on stage. As
soon as the curtain begins to move, every single woman in the pub erupts
into a hair-raising, ear-piercing scream. Some of them begin to cry. All
the women stand up trying to reach onto the stage. Even the young nobles
who were near the rear of the room have run forward to be near the stage. As
soon as the music starts, which by that same magical device used earlier
seems to be quite loud, several of the women swoon and faint.
The band goes on to perform a song about wine fields in the Loren forest
“Elderberry Fields Forever”; “Eight Days A Week”, a song about everyday
life;
“Sigmar’s Silver Hammer”, a song about the exploits of the god;
“Go Fasta Red Submaboat”, a song about a ridiculous orc and his fantastic
sinking boat;
A song about a witness to the crimes committed by The Beast In Velvet, “I
Saw Him Stabbing Her”;
“Maybe You Can Drive My Cart”, a song about teenage wagon drivers;
“The Continuing Saga of Gurnisson’s Axe”, a song about the exploits of
Gotrek Gurnisson;
“When I’m Three Hundred and Sixty Four”, a song about middle aged elves;
“Norscan Would”, a song about a Norscan mercenary who would do anything for
money;
“Guilders, That’s What I Want”, a song about the desire for money;
“Elf, I Need Somebody!”, a song about a lazy Elf servant and his impatient
lord;
“With a Little Dwarf Who’s My Friend”, a song about the friendship between
an elf and a dwarf;
A song about an evil, if somewhat crazy wizard, “Ooh-Bla-Dee, Ooh-Bla-Da,
You’re a Frog!”
A song about a flying dream, “Leaping In The Sky With Dragons”;
A song about the last fight of a group of Imperial Guard, “Sergeant
Meffler’s Hopeless Guard Last Stand”;
And their finale is a song about life in the service of the Emperor, “Back
In The Imperial Guard”.