Peter Corless: Nerd!!!

Oh, for sure there are the nerd tests and complex geek-o-meters, and all. Those are for nerds insecure in their nerdity. Then there are nerds who like to use the appellation because it supposedly explains and permits their anti-social behaviour and lack of cleanliness. (These people are just slobs.)

No, Pete is a true nerd because he knows his stuff, and enjoys knowing it! He relishes trivia and ephemera and apocrypha and minutia. He gets down & funky with the books. He pores over journals and Web pages, eager to make his brain even larger. He is slightly -- no, greatly! -- disturbed at people who have no idea how these words you are reading right now actually *got* into your computer, and what's more -- don't care!!!

Sure, he can rattle off the terminology and grasp the technology with the best of them, too. But it requires more than just mere knowledge -- there is yet always more to know! It requires *passion* about learning and knowing the nature of things. Yes, to be a true nerd requires discipline and courage to admit the heathen worship of logic problems, the idolatry of diagrams and flowcharts, and enjoying the obscene pleasures of systemic analysis and process engineering.

He is one sick puppy.

I love the Internet and the Web, because they are open: TCP/IP, HTML, HTTP, DNS/DHCP, SMTP, MIME. They thrive on a meritocracy of superior implementation. It is the quality of the implementation that people pay premiums for. Conversely, I despise companies that attempt to lure users into technological dead-ends in order to trap revenue streams for themselves, in the misbegotten thinking that the user needs the vendor to continue to charge outrageous sums of money for continuing diminishing returns in value.

The Internet is a revolution, because it assumes evolution. Keep jumping!

I love the following software packages, because they are free, or real-darned-cheap:

• Unix: Apache, perl, emacs
• Macintosh: NCSA Telnet, Fetch, Stuffit Expander

Want to stop greed and commercialism from taking over the universe? Support independent developers and small development groups -- feed and cloth them -- and use their tools over and above supposedly-superior commercial offerings from megalopolies that don't quite "get it." Just because people can frivilously spend cash, and hire out the Statue of Liberty for a trade show party doesn't mean they can write good code.

It is my firm belief the Web only got started because people wanted to do some cool things, with the understanding that the value -- whether in reputation or wealth -- would follow. If you sing well, you'll get to Carnegie Hall. If you paint well, your work will hang in MOMA. And if you code like an SOB, your stuff will shine on the Internet. Love what you do, do what you love, and the money will follow.

My grateful thanks to those folks who wrote, and continue to develop, such outstanding pieces of code.

Cause Everyone Really Takes it Seriously (CERTS) Advisories
A few examples of geekly humorous esoterica.

• Pete Corless' Geek Code
  How do you prove you are a geek? And if a geek, how much of a geek? If you know what a Geek Code is, then you are somewhat of a geek. If you have your own Geek Code, you are on the road to geekdom. IF you can read a Geek Code and actually parse it into English, you are a geek. But if you can read a geek code, and parse it from regular ASCII into escaped characters for an HTTP GET CGI form submission in your head, you are a True Geek!

• Saint Angilbert's Day
  Did Saint Valentine's Day suck, or was it just all in one's perspective? Well, perhaps by celebrating Saint Angilbert's Day, we cen get a fresh perspective on this life thing...

• Why Engineers Don't Write Cookbooks
  Would you ever trust the work of someone who had sniffed a little too much of what they were brewing up in the lab?

• Good Times Virus!
  The Good Times Virus has everyone on the Internet screaming "It's a hoax! It's just a hoax!" But by doing so, they miss the subtle humor in the Internet's largest in-joke and psychological virus. It's too late, you're already infected! Read further for the cure.

• Ego Surfing!
  A new term for the Internet Era, describing the activity when you check out Internet newsgroups and World Wide Web search engines for mentions of your name. Can also be applied to searches for other things you have your ego invested in, such as products or intellectual works you've created. A weakness in his all-too-human soul, Pete admits he does this occasionally. Go ahead and try it yourself...!

• Ultimate Optomized Nerd Test
  If you get it, cool -- you'll probably groan or giggle. If not, then you have passed into the Dilbert Zone. Turn around, and go back! ;-)

• Spam!
  It's not just a villified meat product; it's also a way to meet villifiable people. I'd prefer to keep out of any court of law (civil or criminal) but I've had to defend my rights (and my digital turf) upon occasion. I thank my lucky stars I haven't had to press charges or a suit yet, but I've been tempted! Ever feel the same way? Well, find out how I chase away my harrassers... Warning! This is not too funny, but it does fall into qualification as a CERTS Advisory, truly, Cause Everyone Really Takes It Seriously.