March 2008


unorganized thoughtsadmin on 26 Mar 2008 11:34 am

Whoever designed humans, and not just the physical parts, but the emotional sub-system, failed to put in a critical feature. The ability to rollback to a last know stable state. Since it is emotions, its probably called  the ‘last known happy state’. Its when sometimes in life you are stuck, lost, broken and defeated, you get to go back to a time when things weren’t that bad and you believed in hope.

It probably got dropped in the product design phase, since the designer did not have the benefit of market research or customer feedback, but maybe the quality assurance phase would have caught this. Then again, maybe we are all just a beta version…..

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 26 Mar 2008 12:24 am

March 26th, 00:19

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 21 Mar 2008 09:19 pm

Its the silence thats too loud
Its the darkness thats so bright
If I could just close my eyes
Then maybe I could sleep tonight.

But I wake up, its just a dream
Is it so empty, or thats how I feel?
And I start walking a path of broken dreams
And i wonder why my heart bleeds

I stare out the window, the wind is slow
But will the rain stop and the sun show?
There is no comfort in my thoughts
All the memories and all dreams lost

Its the silence thats too loud
Its the darkness thats so bright

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 17 Mar 2008 05:11 pm

I have always looked at the quality of patience as a virtue and a strength, but lately I have been doubting that opinion and that got me thinking about it a lot more, even noticing it a lot more.

The definition of what patience means surprisingly includes a lot of things that I always thought were the mis-understood symptoms of that expression. It is defined as “the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.” I would believe the more popular definition would be “quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence” which is more positive, more a quality of human character than a flaw.

The thing is, whenever I feel I have expressed patience, it is always looked at  as a sign of weakness, a flaw. That is however how I look at it, and unfortunately that is generally contrary to the natural (popular?..but then I would be giving myself too much credit of being unique) opinion.

Why am I talking about patience? Maybe because I have felt I have needed to spend a lot of it over some time now. Its almost like I have no more of it to spend….and the irony is, that you need to have patience to build up more patience.

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 14 Mar 2008 05:00 pm

When you spend entire days feeling like you just donated a few pints of blood and didn’t even get the free courtesy cookies, each and every big and small unfortunate event tests your emotional strength.

So, in the scheme of things, a relatively small accident where I dropped my guitar felt worse than being punched in the gut when I wasn’t looking. Its not the broken guitar that pains, its not the constant headache that is exhausting, its not the sadness that is frustrating…..its all of it and a whole lot more.

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 10 Mar 2008 10:43 pm

In business/marketing, there is a well known train of thought that it should not  matter how much time, effort and money you have invested into something. If it doesn’t make sense (financial in most cases) to pursue it any longer, you should  quit. Those theories are generally mentioned when talking about the “benefits of quitting”.

Now when you translate that to relationships, it is simple enough to say that no matter how much time, effort and emotional currency you have spent in something , if it is no longer relevant, you should quit? The thing is, it is and should be the reverse of that. The more time, effort and emotions you have involved, the harder and more tougher it should be to quit on it. In fact, I would like to believe that the toughness of the process itself of determining this “relevance of the relationship” would be exponentially proportional to those factors.

Unfortunately, even though the fact that business and emotions are such different beasts is well known by everyone, the finer details of what actually that difference means isn’t clearly understood sometimes.

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 07 Mar 2008 02:41 am

fading

I am not sure if its me who feels like I have been fading, or it seems everything around me is making it seem like it from my perspective. All I wish for is that this is a phase that passes eventually even though it seems to be doing so in slow motion.

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 03 Mar 2008 06:53 pm

In relationships, because there are two people involved, when things are good and your are happy, the feeling is twice as strong, due to the power of the two. But when you get hurt in it, the pain is to the power of two.

I know this not because I am a math major….

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 02 Mar 2008 12:09 am

Since a few days, I have been thinking about what this blog is or why I write here? Its not because I have a few thousand diligent subscribers who read this, nor that I would even want a single one. I don’t think my thoughts  deserve the attention of any body’s valuable time. Nor do I think there is any need to document my thoughts, organized or unorganized as they may be.

So, for all practical reasons, I use it as a writing scratch pad.  I admire good writing, movies, TV shows or (the very few) books (that I read). And this is just an exercise, a simple activity of flattering that art . The other practical reason is that it is kind of a therapy, that is much cheaper than paying my psychiatrist.

However, the more I think about it, in the end, what it really is, is a voice-over for my life. And who better to narrate this than me?

unorganized thoughtsadmin on 01 Mar 2008 05:21 pm

Its very often the things that you don’t choose that make you who you are, the neighborhood you grew up in, the city you lived in, the lives that cross your path. 

Its probably true that the essence, the sauce that forms you and makes up your DNA, very much comes from those elements; and that makes you the person you are. Its not how you look, what kind of clothes you wear or even so much as what you think. Its a lot more subconscious, the non-visible part of you.

Just a thought….